All my life I have been blaming others for my problems...I have to say it I have Bi-polar. I was sexually abuse at the age of five, and 13 by two different people. I lost my father at the age of 5..You can see why I don't like facing reality? I lie to the people I care about the most, I push away them the most...I'm so scared of having someone get close to me. Rightful so since must of my life all I have know is people hurting me and leaving me..The first guy I ever date in freshman year I was 14 I felt as if I was in love, we had sex the next day he broke up with me..I didn't date for two years after that.
I made it a point in grade school to never cry in front of anyone. So up until high school no one knew how much pain I was in..during my youth My best friend use to hit me hard for fun..Or if I said something she thought was dumb. During junior high I stopped being her friend, later in high school I was her and she said only one thing to me. "I thought you'd be pregnant by now." I turned around and said only this.."This is the first time in years we have spoken and you have no right to be so judgmental of me when all you do is act like your better then everyone else, and act like a bitch or cry baby." Then I walk down the bleachers to the soccer field. Then hangout with people who were actually nice.
